Isn’t it intriguing how the questions we make lead us to answers – but we may not notice how leading the questions are? I think there are too many people who willingly ask themselves “Where am I wrong” because they expect themselves to be wrong. I know for me, I tell myself that I’m being humble or modest or flexible or proactive, when in reality, I’m looking for ways to shoot myself down.
So – if you see the question above and think, “I’m always wrong” or any thought like it, may I submit this reframing: ask “What am I learning?”
Oftentimes when we’re processing things that have gone wrong, we ask ourselves (often angrily), “What was I thinking?!?!????” This is a question that beats us up and does not lead anywhere good. But the more important and realistic question to ask, if we want to process past events, is “what was I …” [ready?] “learning?” If you’re looking back, you’re hoping to find something that you can use for changes in the future – and this is the perfect question for accepting that something failed, without spiralling into negativity.
“What was I learning?” is a question that gives hope, and creative energy, and it reminds us of the power in each of us to influence the future. We are not powerless. We are not without resources.
If you can first ask yourself, “what was I learning,” then you are probably more ready for asking “where am I wrong” with the needed self-respect, hope, and true courage. That way you get answers (because questions are leading!) that will build you up, and by extension, care well for the matter at hand.